Hello friends. I'm back, it's been awhile. A recent conversation about "stuff" started a whole thought process for me that I wanted to share. So here we go!
Do you have "stuff" rules at your house? You know what I mean. "Stuff", clothes, knick knacks, dishes, food, shoes, games, books, magazines, and so on, and so on, and so on! You've got the idea now...STUFF.
Clothes linger in my closet or dresser over a year without being worn, and my new rule is "bye bye". If I didn't put it on in the last 12 months, I DON'T NEED IT! Hence, yard sales, donations to Good Will, and passing on to others that might possibly want my unworn, gently used clothes.
Most recently, I took a tour through my son's closet. OMG. I can't even see the floor, the walls, the inside of the door for his collection of STUFF. There are shirts and pants in there with tags still attached. Hmm, funny how those were things that he swore up and down that he really wanted. Interestingly enough, once they made it into our home, they got put on a hanger and left for the closet monster to consume until I made the decision to reclaim the space within.
"STUFF". What is your biggest collection of the things that you think you just can't live without? Guess what? You Can!!!! You will manage, we all manage somehow. If your stuff is tucked away in a closet or drawer, or stacked so high, you can't see over it, it has taken on its own identity and will soon take over your life. If that stack or pile or hidden treasure isn't doing anything to help you clean your humble abode, or cook your dinner, or get you to and from work, it's become a monster in its own right and will ultimately bring you stress and frustration. It will get in the way of relationships and family. AND, then someday, when the Big Guy calls you home, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU. Granted, you could have it stashed next to you when you reach your final resting spot, but IT'S NOT GOING TO DO YOU A BIT OF GOOD!
I had a neighbor years ago that had every copy of the Atlanta Journal newspaper she had ever purchased. Never read, never used as wrapping for precious glassware or other treasures, just kept them stacked, everywhere there was a bare spot. When she passed away, it got thrown away, still unread, unused and disintegrating and rotting right where it had been stacked year after year after year.
I am a wedding and event planner. I do my own floral design and work. My husband loves to do wood working and play the guitar. My son loves to collect anime and Sonic the Hedgehog comic books. He was a regular visitor to Border's Books before they closed. He keeps them sealed in plastic slip sheets. Don't you dare touch them either! You will get a 10 minute speech on washing your hands and getting them soiled.
My husband's workshop is over the top. It's crazy neat and organized. He saves everything! Most people buy quart sized canning jars for just that, canning fruits and veggies. Nope, not at our house. He has dozens of these jars, each filled with wood working treasures, nuts, bolts, screws, washers, nails. People walk into our garage and look around and comment "this just isn't right!" They immediately sense OCD tendencies generally leaves them with a look of "Oh Wow" and total disbelief at the many shelves of neatly organized "stuff". Then they see the file cabinets, 7 to be exact, and each one is chock full of more neatly organized "stuff". Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable, but I will tell you this much, he really does use this stuff. So its classification of "stuff" then becomes "necessary stuff". One year for Christmas, our daughter bought him a shirt that says "he who dies with the most tools, wins!" Point made!
Okay, I've picked on my 2 fellas enough. I'm just as bad. As a floral designer, I like to have my own vases and containers, baskets, silk flowers, fabric, oasis foam, tape, etc., etc., etc.. I could pretty well start my own store with what I have neatly stacked, row by row, shelf by shelf.
I had a brainstorm a few months back, though, and now, things, um, er, uh, well, they are a changin'.
Time to pick on myself now. Okay, clothes, 12 months not worn, they are outta there, so I thought that same philosophy might work with my shelf after shelf of glassware and "stuff". I began to sell off things that hadn't been used in 2 years. (I gave myself a little extra time, because, after all, trends change...don't want to purge that stuff too soon and then find out I need it).
I was doing great. I sold everything I had in the way of balloons, weights, ribbons. Even sold the shelf! How's that for purging!
Then I sold chair covers. I sold candelabras, table clothes, fabric, vases, charger plates...and the list goes on and on. However, I was bad, not right away, but after a few weeks. There I stood in my very well organized store room and workshop and bless its heart, it looked so empty. There were bare shelves. That's just simply not right, so, yep, I filled them up again. I have literally cornered the market on glass vases and everything else that goes with them. I bought a rattan chair, 3 dozen hanging lanterns, silk flowers, and 50 pounds of those little clear glass marbles that you put in the bottoms of vases. Oh my, I was really, really bad. A going out of business sale grabbed hold of me and simply wouldn't let go. Next thing I know, I'm back in the "STUFF" business again. But, hey, at least it's neatly organized on my very full, crowded shelves!
So, now that I've given you some insight into my world of stuff, where does yours stand? What do you have that is sitting there, collecting dust, attracting paper mites, dust and other creepy crawly critters? What did you buy one of and swear it was life changing, and all of a sudden, you own absolutely everything there is to go with it?
Did you know that piles and piles of "stuff" can stress you out? Did you know that it can take over your life to the point that you have to justify its very existence in you humble abode? Did you know that your "stuff" can cloud your thought process and your sense of reasoning?
Here's the challenge. Go home, look at your stuff and honestly ask yourself "do I really need all this?" Ask yourself to answer yes or no to the next question (and be honest with your answer, too. After all, besides yourself, there is ONE that knows whether or not you are telling the truth. Here's the thing. You may have spent unfathomable amounts of money on your stuff. You may actually pick it up and look at it once or twice, and then it goes right back into the "stuff" pile. I am still bad about this with magazines. I have myself convinced that there is something really important in there that I might need to know someday. Working on that one...the problem with that theory is that you will more than likely forget exactly which one of those collecting publications contains the information that you actually need. Go figure!
Things changed for me about my "stuff" piling up all around me 10 years ago. When a family member passed away, I simply couldn't justify giving their things away. I might forget if I don't see their "stuff" all around me. I still have a handkerchief and a sweater that belonged to my grandmother and it took me nearly 2 years to get the courage to wash them. I just couldn't bear thought of not being able to smell her perfume that still lingered on both of them. Sometimes, I would miss her so much, that I would go retrieve them from my dresser and just sit and smell them. They smelled like her. It made me happy. I could close my eyes and see her sitting there, wearing that red sweater, clutching that hankie in her hand, or maybe tucking it back under the sleeve of that special sweater. After a couple years of this practice, I began to notice that the "smell" that reminded me of her, was beginning to diminish, but somehow, that didn't matter anymore, because the memories were still there and I no longer needed my ritual to bring her back into my mind. So, I donated most of what I had left to a shelter. I kept that red sweater and the special hankie. I don't need all that other "stuff" to bring her back into my mind.
We all have those things that make us smile, and we all have "stuff" that we don't need to exist, and their continued possession boils down to 1 simple philosophy, and that is wants vs needs.
We need food, we need water, we need a safe, warm place to live. We need love and companionship. We "want" all the stuff, and if you stop and think about it, you will pretty well figure out, that you don't really need it to live. Its existence is not keeping you alive, and in many cases, it might be destroying that life, because the expense of the "stuff", it's unorganized existence in your life, may actually be causing you undue stress and
confusion. Your "stuff" could actually be making you sick! Think about that...
Okay, I'm done. This hasn't been one of my typical, spiritually based blogs, but when you get down to the nitty gritty, it is. After all, God provides what we need to live, here and now and gave His only Son for us so that we would also be able to live eternally. The other "stuff" we want can often get in the way of that and confuse us. Your "wants" won't hurt you (thanks, Mother! I really did learn that one!)...and ultimately, you can't take that "stuff" with you.
It's just "STUFF" after all. And, in spite of what you think, it's not gonna do you a darn bit of good later.
Bye ya'll. It feels good to be back. I've missed writing and sharing with you. Have a good one and before you are compelled to add another layer to that "stack of stuff", think about it first and let the One that put you here help you to put yourself back together...
God bless you guys. Gotta go, I think there's a stack of magazines I need to throw away...good start, don't you think!
Kaye
