"Oh, oobee doo, I wanna be like you oo oo, I wanna walk like you, Talk like you, oo oo too. You'll see it's true." Do those lyrics sound familiar? Well, think back to 1967 with a crazy orangutan, a big lovable bear and an orphaned jungle boy. Remember now? That's right. Disney's Jungle Book. Of course by now, for those of you that weren't around in 1967, I'm fairly certain that you have it on DVD or the old fashioned format - VHS.
Since this song popped into my head a few days ago, I really should explain why. The thanks goes to my really cool kid, my wonderful, wonderful son, the closet psychologist, the junior professor and all around incredible person, has done it again! He left me speechless with a humina humina humina look on my face and a lack of immediate response as I retook control of my car and averted from driving off the road!
He analyzes everyone and everything around him. Some days, it drives me absolutely nuts. Others, I just sit back and marvel at this gift he has for putting things in perfect perspective, and that my friends, is exactly what happened a few days ago.
Early on, we knew he was special, and where some kids excelled in sports, he didn't. He wasn't always the most popular kid or the coolest kid when he was younger, and because of that, there were a lot of days that he just sat back, looked at the world and formulated his opinions, about EVERYTHING! But, he has always been taught that for any lack of ability that he may have in one area, God gave him amazing gifts in others and he proves that point on a daily basis. I admire him so much for that, but also for his innate honesty, gentle nature, his meticulous care about anything he is passionate about, and most of all, for his ability to just be himself. I really wish you could know him. He is such a cool kid and he makes me a very proud mama.
One day last week, we were driving home from an outing and he pops up out of silence and says "mom, can we talk about something?" "Sure son, what's up?" At that point, he sat up straight and ended his period of sitting stunningly quiet for several minutes and he put his Dr. Freud hat on and began to analyze people places and things from some of his encounters of the week. He is much like me and uses way too many words when only a few will do, but he usually does put everything into obvious perspective and very much, to the point.
That "mom, can we talk about something?" from past experiences tells me we are in for a long drawn out deeply intellectual conversation. Sometimes, if the timing is not right, It's not unusual that I stop him in his tracks and tell him to take his professor hat off and just be my son, my video game, music loving, tech school son. For what it's worth, you don't need the blow by blow details, but on this particular day, I got an earful, not to mention a brain overload and the more I thought about, the more I marveled at this deduction.
Let's just call it EPD, and it wouldn't be me or Lifes Morsels if the EPD, didn't lead into "the rest of the story". So here goes! In his words, and I quote "mom, in my educated way of thinking, I believe and feel very strongly about this, that so and so suffers from Emulative Personality Disorder...."
"WHAT" I about ran the car off the edge of the road. Where did that come from? When did my child graduate 4 years of college, attend grad school and get a degree in psychology? Son, where have you heard that term?" "No where, but mom, it's perfectly obvious to me. Seriously mom, it's so obvious!"
Okay, okay. Had he made that up? Was it real? I asked him to explain his "diagnosis", and this is what I got. Who knows, he may have learned this because of some video game...who knows.
"Okay mom, I will make this easy for you." (Should I smack him now or later for that remark or just let it ride this time?) My own curiousity led me to let it ride - THIS TIME. "Mom, do you know what emulate means?" "Yes, son, I do. What does it mean to you?" "Well, it means to imitate someone or something and try and excel at what you're imitating."
At this point in time, I'm amazed, I'm thankful that I have not run the car up a tree and I'm kind of hoping that maybe, just maybe, he has this whole thing all wrong and I will have the task of explaining the word and it's meaning(s), but darn it, that wasn't going to happen! He was spot on, 100% spot on and has once again, left me driving down the road with my mouth hanging wide open, literally searching for words. Okay, I'm going to give him this one. He's right, 100% right. I was so befuddled by his comment, I actually went in the house, pulled up the online dictionary just to verify what he said so eloquently.
Well, that incident aside, I've pondered his diagnosis over the past couple of days, and realized, that to a degree, we all have EPD, especially after I did some research on his newly coined term. The term doesn't exist. He created it, the condition and the diagnosis based solely on observation. Wow! Now I'm sure that some where out there, there is a licensed and degreed psychologist that is going to tell me that the condition is real, but is known as _____________ disorder. Fill in the blanks, please!
What this means for him, is that he is some days, too smart for his own good, very intuitive and brilliant at discerning "issues" that affect other people. What it means for me is that, now that my mouth is closed, I have realized that once again, this child that I have raised to be a handsome young man, may just be on the verge of being smarter than his mama, well at least about some things! I think I need to study more!
Let's go back to my comment about all of us having EPD. In Jungle Book, King Louie (the orangutan wanted to be like man, Mowgli wanted to be like Baloo and live in the Jungle, Baloo wanted to be Papa Bear. So, think about it, we all at times want to be like someone else, and I am no exception. Whatever happened to little girls being like "mommy" as they cared for their Tiny Tears doll or the Betsy Wetsy (really dating myself here!) Now, our little girls aren't allowed by advertisers and entertainers to be "little girls". They push them into emulating their favorite teen idol. Some of them like to dress the part (not always appropriate), act like them (definitely not always appropriate) and dance and sing their songs (which are also sometimes inappropriate). Little boys turn into "punks" at an earlier age and take on that macho, tough guy persona that they see in their favorite game characters, comic heroes, sports stars, musicians and more.
Years pass, time seems to move a little more quickly as we age, and some times way too late, we realize that our children are growing up in a world that never stops, doesn't even slow down, a world that seems to promote a serious lack of morals. And our children, well this is all thrust at them so intensely, that unless monitored and controlled, their minds are often filled with negative things that they begin to "emulate".
At the very "mature" age of 10, 13, 15 or so, that "I know it all, gonna do it my way or else attitude" kicks in with a fierceness. In some kids, it's short lived. In others, heaven help us all, it lasts for a decade or so. But guess what, they all do eventually grow up, in spite of themselves. And so do we as their parents. In all honesty, I'm 57, and according to my mother, I haven't quite grown up YET! But that's okay. Our kids want to be older, and we would all love, some days especially, to be a little younger. DON'T DENY IT! You know you do!
Back to EPD. Let's put a new spin on this whole emulative personality disorder thing and turn it around to be a positively awesome way to live our lives. If you had one person, one existence, that you wanted to emulate, who, what would it be?
Dreams of grandiose homes with fabulous rooms and treasures, swimming pools, cars, trips around the world or to places that intrigue us; incredible wardrobes, perfect bodies, thick flowing hair, beautiful complexions, no money worries...those are just a few of the ideas that pop into any of our minds from time to time.
Put your breaks on for a moment. If you had all of the above, then what? What's next? Who, what, where? You've got all the worldly toys and qualities that you ever dreamed of, but there's still something missing. So you dream some more, you search some more...
Yes, I would love to be free of money woes. I want a living room that is big enough that I can have more than 5 guests at a time and have them not fall over each other in the process of sitting down. I would love to have a professional kitchen with a 6 burner gas stove, flat top griddle, indoor grill, double professional ovens and enough cabinet space so that my counters were cleared off and spotless - a place for everything and everything in it's place. I want a swimming pool, a fireplace that works, perfect hair, no dark circles under my eyes, a body that even the stars would envy, and so on and so on and so on. I think you get the point.
BUT, so many of those things are just that, things. When I take my final breath from life on this earth, "those" things aren't going with me. They are staying here. They might stay well kept, they might not. Again, they are things, BUT, I wanted them, I wanted to emulate the people I know that had them, but they will do me no good. Period. They are just "things". All the years that I have pined over a big professional grade kitchen, or having that sparkling blue oasis in my back yard, I wanted to emulate those that did have them and more often than not, felt cheated and envious because I didn't have them.
Things, just things. They are not priceless, they are not part of my treasures stored in Heaven. They are all part of earthly "stuff". Some of us have them, some of us don't.
As for that thick head of long flowing perfect hair and tanned, honed body to go with it, guess what? Those stay behind too! As we take our last breath and begin our final journey, that for some of us, leads us to the gates of Heaven, we take on a new body, a perfect body, no pain, no problems, no dark circles, no thinning hair. At that moment, as a Christian, we will for the first time in our lives, embody perfection. Wow!
I look forward to someday walking and talking one to one and face to face with my Creator and having only perfect joyous days ahead of me without aches and pains and sorrows.
So, as you sit here reading this, I hope you've enjoyed yet one more tale from life with my boy. But, I also hope that you've taken a moment or two to think about what's been said. EPD! Where are you with that phrase? To whom, to what, or where does your own case of emulative personality disorder lead you - the right way or the hhmmm hmmmm way?
Remember, you can't take it with you. Choose the right path for your life? Who do you want to "emulate"? When you make the right decision(s) about who or what you want to "emulate", to be like, then those last two words "personality disorder" don't exist for you anymore, only that first fancy word that my incredibly smart and sensitive son tossed at me and that is simply "emulate" or "imitate". I want to emulate Jesus...I don't want to be better than Him, but I sure do want to be like Him. I already know the glory of the Lord, His forgiveness, His love. I want to someday take that final journey to that place where I am welcomed with open arms by the One that knew me and everything about me before I was even a twinkle. I want to live my earthly life in such a way that there is no doubt in anyone's mind about my final journey.
Here's a thought for you in closing. If you find yourself being envious or desiring things that are out of reach and more "wants" instead of "needs", replace everything on your list with a commitment to emulate love, decency, forgiveness, compassion, honesty and understanding.
As for right now, just go hug throw your arms around someone and tell them how special they are to you. Whether it's your kids, your spouse, a brother or sister, your parents, a friend, co-worker, just do it. #1, you will surprise the daylights out of them and they may very well think that you've lost your mind, but moreover, you may start something that has the potential for paying it forward and spreading to more and more. Isn't that what's about? Let them know just how special they are and for the simple reasons, not the store bought, glitz and glamor ones. Thank them for being in your life. Emulate the love of God for everyone and everything around you, even those that are by all practical and ethical observations, people that you just really don't like, despise or can't seem to find room for them in your own circle of life. You never know what good might come from it!
In Matthew 22:36-40, a question is asked of Jesus, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" To which Jesus replied "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'." Oh, by the way, did you know Matthew was somewhat of a scoundrel and not looked upon favorably by most people. Jesus didn't see him that way, and...well you know the rest of the story. Jesus loved him and He loves you and me! Don't emulate the scoundrel, take the right path!
Here's to working on my case of EPD, and I hope you work on yours too! Emulate the good stuff! Blessings to you all in Jesus, my Savior....
As always,
Kaye
ps - thought you might enjoy this. Who are you? Mowgli, King Louie or Baloo?
