Twenty six years ago, I was in mourning of sorts, mourning the emptiness of a cradle and a crib and missing the precious sounds of a baby's cry. I guess that is when I really took things to heart and started to write again. I looked at as a self-imposed therapy. I enjoyed it. I thought I was halfway decent at it, so I wrote and wrote and wrote. Next thing I knew, I had accumulated nearly 150 pages of therapy and I was beginning to feel better as well.
At the time this all happened, I worked at the old Rich's store in downtown Atlanta in one of the corporate support departments. I had come to know many of the buyers, one of which encouraged me to take my pages and pages of therapy to the publisher and see if it was worthy. I never did. I packed it away, and feeling better all the way around, didn't think about it for a long, long time.
Over the course of time and events, there were wonderful changes. My husband and I were blessed with two incredibly beautiful and extremely gifted children, which we adopted. One boy, one girl and now my family seemed to be complete. They both grew up. They are God's gifts not just to us, but to everyone around them. My unpublished book was now forgotten as the cradle, the crib, had purpose.
Every mother looks at her children and remembers those first days. They remember their pregnancy, delivery, that first touch, the tiny fingers and toes. I do too, but I remember pregnancy, labor and delivery all wrapped up into the two life-changing phone calls that we received, one for each child. Our lives were about to change in such an incredible way, and with no warning. I remember sleepless nights with a newborn that was colicky from the minute she was born until she was 24 (well maybe not quite that old). I remember going to Scottish Rite so many times with our son, that we jokingly referred to a room as our "family suite". High fevers (one even as high as 108.6), strep throat, ear infections, bumps, bruises, pink eye are all memories that are there, but foggy, as I don't think I was totally lucid through a lot of that due to sleep deprivation and worry.
No, never gave the book another thought. Life was good. The crib had a purpose and the cradle was no longer empty. I wouldn't trade any experience I've had in my life for any amount of money. They are precious memories that I will cherish for a lifetime, the battles included, they all had a purpose.
We lived and learned along the way through infancy, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle school (oh, those teenage years were a blast, let me tell you), high school and now college and one now married to the man of her dreams. You know, they don't give you a handbook with children. You learn as you go and you listen and you get advice (whether you want it or not) and then you do what you sense is right.
Our kids were and still are true miracles and blessings that have filled our lives in a most abundant way. Our daughter excels at everything she touches. She has danced, skated, painted, built, designed, created and just done amazing things. Children love her and she once thought about being a teacher. She is queen in the kitchen, and taught herself to sew. Amazing young woman, and there are not enough good things I can say in her praise. She does suffer from one ailment though, and that is from being so overly talented in so many areas that she can't decide on any one thing to specialize in. It has made college difficult, because in order to do it all, she would be there forever, and she thinks now, she is ready to just be a grown up. We talked about this just the other night. You know, sweetie, I will support you in whatever you do, whatever direction you go, because whatever you choose, you do because your heart and soul are in it. I am so proud of you.
And then there is my son, my amazing son, who was born nearly 15 weeks premature and came into this world weighing in at a mere 1 1/2 pounds and then lost half of that. Just living was an uphill battle for him for a long, long time. When he was 12, we found out that he was autistic, more specifically with Asperger's Syndrome. School in those days was difficult. People, teachers included, didn't understand and many lost patience with him. That is when we started home schooling, and it is an experience I will never forget or regret. You get to know your children completely. Needless to say, I have been his advocate for his entire life, but even more so as I fought for his place in life, school, society and a future. I proudly announce that he just graduated high school, but not home school high school, regular public school high school. He accomplished 4 years of high school and 1 year of tech college in 2 years and 3 months. Oh, yes, momma is proud, so very proud. That once premmie baby with the big, big eyes, is now nearly 6' tall and jaw droppingly handsome and he is going to take the world by storm and make sure everyone knows his name. He has an agent now and does incredible voices and improv. He has high hopes of becoming a successful voice actor someday, and I know he will make it.
No, hadn't even given the book another thought, until.....
Cleaning out closets and boxes a few weeks ago, I came across a brown paper wrapped bundle with an address on it. At first, I didn't remember what was inside, and then I had a vision of the empty cradle and purposeless crib. Without a second thought, I smiled, said a prayer, thanked God for my miracles and promptly tossed my 150 pages of therapy into the garbage bag. My life was complete.
Love to all and thanking God every moment of every day for my miracles,
Me - KatyDid
