What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?

It's 96 crazy Georgia degrees and the masochistic weather man is talking about what it "feels like", 108!  I don't care what it feels like!  Psychologically, that little heat index makes me feel worse than I already did!  That's right up there with the pollen count, duh, if I'm sneezing and can't breathe, gee, you think maybe the pollen is out of control?  Of course it is, it's springtime in Georgia!  We actually have this putrid yellow green powdery pollen that falls from the pine trees, but it's so big, it doesn't bother you, it just makes everything that hideous color for 3 weeks or more.

96 degrees, and I shouldn't complain.  We could have the 100+ that they get  in Nevada and New Mexico regularly.  But then, there's the old tagline, "it doesn't feel that hot, it's a dry heat".

Give me a break, people!  Hot is hot, no matter how you justify it, just like cold is cold (and in Georgia, we tend to think it's cold if the mercury drops lower than 40).  We had multiple days in the single digits this year and ice and snow and the whole shootin' match.

Suffice it to say, we have no control over the temps or the rain or the snow and ice, but I do wish those weather people and their rainbow colored maps would simmer down.  It is what it is what it is!

For those of us over 50, and I am not the least bit ashamed to admit it, there is one more kind of hot.  Ladies, you all know what I'm talking about.  It hits you when you are least expecting it.  You know those moments, crowded elevators, dressed for success, job interviews, church!  The floodgates burst open on your forehead, you turn beet red and you feel like you need to dive head first into an icy lake!  Have you been there yet?  It's so much fun and let me tell you,  there's no way to hide out, escape it or look nonchalant when it happens.  I guess you could always carry a bag of gym clothes and act like you're still cooling down, but that would be a little cumbersome, don't you think.  Nope, hot flashes and summer just don't jive, no matter how you look at it.

Get over it, it happens and if it hasn't happened to you yet, you just wait!  Your day is coming, and it's a sure fire way to drive your spouse crazy too.  One minute, we're freezing them to death with the ac turned down as low as it will go, and the next minute, we're cooking them!  I think every husband should have to go through our suffering at least once.  They couldn't handle it!

Weather men/women, who needs them.  I can have my own private summers pretty much year round and when it happens, I want to stuff a mattress with ice cubes and Klondike bars....and you thought they were just for eating.  Hey, stick a fork in me and see if I'm done!  I don't have hot flashes.  I just have short private vacations in the tropics! So, pass the pina coladas, please!  Oh, and the popsicles, frozen steaks and bags of frozen veggies!  Thanks!  Aaahhhh!

Later y'all,
Katydid